The Guys of “Happy Endings” Answer Relationship Questions
The male stars of the hit ABC show Happy Endings—Damon Wayans Jr., Zach Knighton, and Adam Pally—answer all your puzzling male-behavior questions. In detail!
Why are guys so afraid of the phone? What’s up with texting only? —Caitlin, 25
DAMON: It’s just easier.
ZACH: It’s more efficient.
ADAM: I hate getting a voice mail. I’m not going to listen to your message so I can hear what you’re about to tell me when I call you back. I mean, when you’re starting to date, you’re on the phone; you put your best foot forward. But if a guy is only texting you, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
DAMON: Unless there’s a top-out to the number of words. If he just says, “Hey,” “OK,” “Yeah,” “You up?”—no good. Just say, “I’d rather you call me.” If he likes you, he’ll adjust.
Is my husband thinking of me when he’s masturbating? And when does he even have time to? —Julie, 38
ZACH: There’s always time.
ADAM: I’ve had the flu, with a 105-degree fever, and I’ve said to my wife, “Can you please go out for cough syrup?” And when she did, I jerked off. Twice. Do I think of my wife? Most of the time, no. Sometimes, yes. But, really, no.
DAMON: No. Unless you haven’t seen her for a long time, you’re not going to “use” her.
ADAM: And you have to masturbate. If I couldn’t, I’d be, like, a crazy person with a machete.
DAMON: And an erection. A machete and a boner.
ADAM: Not good.